Five Questions about Jewish Romance with Julia Carpenter

Jewish love stories are more important than ever.

The world would say otherwise. While Jew hatred existed long before October 7^th, 2023, the atrocities perpetrated by Hamas unleashed a global tsunami of it. We live in a world where many people would be happy if Jews didn’t exist.

So, writing and publishing a Jewish love story is an almost radical act. It shows that Jews are human beings who are worthy of love and happy endings. One of the newest entrants to the Jewish romance genre is Missed You the First Time by Julia Carpenter. Missed You the First Time debuted as Amazon's #1 Kindle release in Jewish Life of November 2025.

Julia writes romantic comedies about smart, complicated women juggling life, love, and everything in between. Her essays have appeared in The New York Times, HuffPost, Your Tango, and PBS’s Next Avenue.

She recently shared her thoughts on Jewish romance and offered some insights on her book—read on to learn more.

What first drew you to writing Jewish romance? Was it a lifelong love, a late discovery, or something that surprised you?

First, let me start with what drew me to writing romance. My other writing has always been fiction where characters get to be less likable and happy endings are more elusive. Personally, I love romance and romantic comedies, but I struggled to figure out how to keep two perfectly lovely people—who so obviously desire each other—apart for 75,000 or so words. I get frustrated when I read stories where what keeps people apart is stubbornness and outlandish miscommunication. If a couple has this much trouble understanding each other, how will they survive a missed text going forward?

So, when an idea hit me for how to keep my protagonists, Dani and Jake, apart, I couldn’t type fast enough. My writing friend Heidi Shertok and I talk all the time about writing and characters, and we exchange pages. Heidi writes so intimately about Orthodox Jews, and that gave me the idea to write about Jewish characters who are secular, but whose lives are still deeply Jewish.

How does your Jewish identity shape both the world you build and the way your characters love, argue, and connect?

I’ve spent most of my career doing marketing work for Jewish organizations—synagogues and Jewish social service agencies—so I wrote my world: the humor, the family closeness, the community overlap, the mothers-with-opinions. I leaned on Judaism to shape the texture of the book: the rhythms of family life, the way community shows up, the way people celebrate, tease, worry, and interfere. The world feels Jewish because the characters don’t “pause to explain” it; it’s just their world.

That fundamental truth is also part of the emotional wiring: that Jewish family dynamic where affection can present as sarcasm, love can show up as pressure, and there’s an assumption that everyone’s business is kind of… everyone’s business. That affects how characters argue and reconnect—because even when Dani wants space, she’s still tethered to people who care loudly. And that loud caring can be hilarious—and also deeply moving.

What have been some Jewish romance books that have inspired and/or influenced you?

There are so many great Jewish romance authors to read! I already mentioned Heidi Shertok, but I also love reading Meredith Schorr. Her contemporary romcoms feel genuinely Jewish in the way the characters live and move through the world, without making Jewishness feel like a “lesson.”

I’ve also really enjoyed following young writers like Chayla Wolfberg, whose work brings a fresh, modern energy to Jewish romance. Her debut, Late Night Love (set in a sketch-comedy world), made me feel excited about how big and varied Jewish romcom can be. And one of the best-known writers, Jean Meltzer, writes with a great mix of humor, heart, and Jewish cultural specificity.

TV influences me, too. Netflix’s Nobody Wants This premiered when I was already deep into writing my book—but seeing a smart, fast-paced romantic comedy centered around Jewish life made me feel like, yes, these stories are wanted, and I loved the writing and pacing. Another show I loved was Shtisel. It’s a totally different world from my book, but the love story between Akiva and Libbi was so passionate it genuinely inspired me—it reminded me that longing, devotion, and romantic stakes translate across any background.

Dani's family — especially her mom — feels familiar to many Jewish readers. How did you balance cultural humor with emotional truth around expectations and matchmaking?

For me, the humor works because it comes from affection. There’s a moment in the epilogue when Dani’s mom slides into the empty chair beside her and immediately starts adjusting the strap of her dress. Dani taps her hand away and says, “Mom, stop. I look great. Really.” I love that exchange because it captures something so familiar: the mom can’t help herself—she does see how gorgeous her daughter looks, but fussing is her love language.

That’s the balance I was going for: the loving intensity, the opinions, the generational anxiety—the way families can be both caring and controlling depending on the moment. I tried to build the comedy from specificity—the dialogue rhythms, the tiny social dynamics—but anchor it in emotional truth. Expectations usually come from fear and love: fear your kid will be alone, fear they’ll struggle, fear they’ll miss their chance… and love that doesn’t always know how to be quiet.

And I wanted Dani’s arc to matter in that dynamic. The matchmaking pressure is funny, yes—but it also pushes Dani to claim her own agency, instead of letting other people narrate her life.

At its heart, Missed You the First Time is about finding your way after a detour. What do you hope readers take away from Dani’s story?

I hope readers feel that a detour isn’t a failure—it’s information that propels you forward. Dani’s story is about realizing you can start over. You can rebuild without having had a perfect plan. Also, Dani’s story isn’t just about “finding a guy”—she’s finding herself again: the confident version she thought she lost, the version that isn’t stuck believing she peaked years ago.

And the romance is part of that, because the best love stories don’t rescue you—they meet you when you’re finally willing to show up honestly. If a reader finishes the book feeling more hopeful about second chances—romantic and personal—I will be thrilled.

Follow Julia on Facebook and Instagram. For more updates on her writing, check out her author website. You can order Missed You the First Time on Amazon.